Do you remember someone in your life that seemed to make the same mistakes over and over? Did you give them the benefit of the doubt and let them back into your life, only to have them do the same thing to you yet again? Many of us have known someone that would wreak havoc wherever they went. Their choices not only affected them, but those around them. Sometimes it was a family member, which made it all the more difficult to separate yourself from their destructive influences. We have felt that angst for believing that one with such negative behaviors could be other than destructive.

Eventually, we hope that we have cleansed our life of anyone who can bring such negative energies into it. Years later, this same person might return, claiming that they have changed, that they have fixed their life and wish now to be a part of yours once more. What do you do? Do you stand your ground and push them back out or do you take the chance and see if they have really changed?

Some of us have learned to keep such people as far away as possible, regardless of their claims of change. Consider now, that this behavior, applied to outside influences, is often directed inwardly. How many times do you catch yourself referring to your own past mistakes? How bound are you by the things that you did when you were younger?

It is not January. No New Year’s resolutions are flying through the air and crash landing. That is one reason that I have never made a New Year’s resolution; I hate to break my promises. Yet, might I be passing up the opportunity to begin anew? While it is not necessary to subscribe to the yearly ritual of making promises that we will not keep, it is important to understand and allow that everyone, including (and most importantly) ourselves, deserves a second chance, a new beginning. We do not have to wait until a New Year to alter our lives. We can start anew any day that we choose.

The Judgement card from the Ethyrial Tarot © is pictured. We see old feathers and dirt sitting on the bottom of the card. As we follow the movement upward, we see a bird, flying toward the light; free from its old self, free from its old life. Much like the phoenix that rises from the ashes, this card speaks volumes about leaving behind that which is no longer good and useful to us and flying beyond our past.

Many of us cling to whom we used to be, not allowing for the fact that we are not the same person that we once were. Instead, we thrash ourselves with thoughts of worthlessness. We bind ourselves with past mistakes. We limit our potential in our mindset that we have failed in the past and therefore will fail yet again.

While we are careful not to allow destructive individuals to come back into our lives to spread chaos, over and over, do we ever consider that people can and do change? Have we ever taken the time to look into our own hearts and discover whether we have changed?

What I have found is that some of us never grow beyond immaturity because we never forgive ourselves. Therefore, we trap ourselves by our own beliefs that we cannot or will not change. Are you the same person that you were when you were a teenager? Have you matured in any form or manner over the years? Most of us can likely say “yes” to this last question.

It is not unusual for us to carry the burdens of our pasts into our futures. That one mistake of our youth haunts us. The decision we made in a moment of desperation, still clings to us like a slimy mud. Why? Why do we insist on being what we no longer are? Why are we continually picking up that old baggage and pulling it into our futures?

Over my lifetime, I have been many people. I have been a young person who made awful choices. I have been an adult that ventured into territory I later regretted visiting. I have worn the rags of my past long after my ideals had moved past such things. There comes a time in one’s life, when it becomes necessary to adjust the load we bear. To continue to add to our burden, rather then change it, will destroy us on some level. Only by sorting out the items that we have taken upon ourselves, can we finally be free.

There are things that I have done in my past that I still feel very deeply when I visit them in my mind and heart. The difference I find now is that I no longer allow myself to drown in those things. I am not the same person now that I was when those things happened. I have risen from the ashes of my past, a new creation. I want to be that bird, soaring high above, and separate from, the errors of my youth.

We all go through transformations. We all become someone different as a result of the events in our lives. When we were children, we chose clothes that we liked as children. Often they were bright and filled with characters that adorned the fabric. Maybe, on occasion, we still like such things, but it is likely that our choice of clothing now is very different from what it was when we were a small child. Just as we take different clothing upon our backs now that we are older, so too should we take on different burdens and beliefs about ourselves.

This requires self-forgiveness. It is not always easy to do this. We tend to be very unforgiving of mistakes, especially our own. Yet, if you can see your life as that of diverse people, each with their own set of mistakes and flaws and strengths, would that alter your perspective?

I am not whom I used to be. My life’s experiences have created a different person from the one who was. Now when I return in my memory to past mistakes, I try to separate myself from that soul that once lived. I do not have to carry that person’s weights. They are left in the past and I can walk a lighter road now; I can fly higher as the weight is so much less. The old self is left on the ground, while the new me is free from that burden.

When you find the person that you are, it is perfectly acceptable to put away the person that you once were. You need not carry the guilt and burden of past mistakes. They were made by someone else, entirely. Take up your new mantle and allow yourself the forgiveness that you would bestow on others whose past was less then perfect.

We all change, hopefully for the better. When that happens, let us enjoy our new life, soaring above our past mistakes; rather then continue to be beat up for errors long in the past. Everything changes, including us. The phoenix rises from the ashes. The butterfly sheds its caterpillar self. Human beings are evolving, changing creatures, just like the legendary phoenix or the delicate butterfly. Look at the card that accompanies this article. Picture yourself as that bird. Imagine that you are shedding your past. You are no longer burdened or darkened by your past, but now you are able to rise above it. Once you have shed that old self-image, you will be amazed at the heights you can reach. Once you realize that you are not that same person who made all of those mistakes, you can fly far higher.

There is no need to make resolutions for a New Year. Instead, simply shed your old self, forgive yourself for past mistakes, and then begin your journey anew. You are not the person you once were. You are a new creation of your own making. You are a new person that can soar without the weight of your past. I wish you a wonderful journey as this new you.