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The B-32’s
by Kate Robinson Pearce

BraThis is a story that I am sure all girls can relate to, the fun of getting a new bra which for most girls occurs between twelve and thirteen. First of all is “the trip” to the mall, likely with your Mother. As all of you know, from the age of about ten your Mother becomes a subject of humiliation. Likely your Mother is excited and if you are one of the really unlucky ones, on the way to the mall she gives the “my baby is turning into a woman speech”. If you are the youngest this is probably accompanied with a few tears. Not only are you glad that nobody is present to witness this, all you can do is say “MOOOOMMMMMMMM” and remind and plead with her again not to embarrass you at the mall.

Ok, so now you get to the store. Your Mom at this point has completely “forgotten” or more likely just ignored her promise to not embarrass you. The first thing she does when you walk into the store is to go right up to the saleslady and proceeds to announce to the whole store that her daughter (you are trying to pretend that you are not related to her by standing off to the side) needs her first bra and asks if the lady can recommend anything. The saleslady then takes you to the section for “petites” simply meaning you aren’t even close to filling out anything above an “AA” yet.

Now comes the fitting session. Be prepared for all the bra’s to have those ridiculous little bows with sickeningly sweet little pink or red hearts on them. I never understood the purpose of the bows, they certainly don’t add any extra support. I have come to the conclusion that they were designed by men.

So now you try on your first bra and your Mom opens the dressing room door and leaves it open and exclaims “AAAAWWWWWWW how cute... jump up and down to see if it works”. "MOM SHUT THE DOOR” you reply “Oh please nobody is looking” she says and then asks the saleslady’s opinion and now you have an audience of two. Of course the saleslady agrees that it is a perfect fit and look and they both decide that you should have at least ten of them. You get no say in the matter, your best death glare is absolutely useless so don’t bother. When you get home and your Dad can’t look you in the face that means he knows and is trying to pretend he doesn’t accept his attempts to not embarrass you any further that day because much more is to come.

Now comes the part where you get to go to your first day of school with your first bra. For some reason the bra is seen to be a status symbol equivalent to owning your own car, every school has seasoned veterans, also known as the B-32’s. The leader of the B-32’s is usually the one who is the largest. All you can do is hope to hide, but alas, it is of no use because gym class comes you can run but you can’t hide. One of the B-32’s sees it sooner or later and be prepared to undergo the time honoured tradition of bra snapping. Hopefully you knew better than to get the bra’s with the clasp in the front. Not to worry, a little aloe will help the welts if you apply it in the morning and at night because the snap ritual lasts at least three days.

When the boys find out and start to tease with the flat jokes just look down at their fly and point and laugh… trust me they won’t bother you anymore that day.

Copyright StarAngel (Kate Robinson Pearce) 1997-2000

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This page was updated January 31, 2001.