Tarot Canada

Firemen are HOTTER!
© Marta Martin 2002-013

Firemen are Hotter

After years of exhaustive, albeit pleasant, research; my study on various career or professional groups is completed and I'm happy to share my results.

For those of you who feel that by sharing this information I am only showing that I am shallow or superficial, I say this---do I come to your place of employment and tell YOU what to do on the job?

For years it was very difficult for me to choose the career or professional group that had, by far, the best looking men. I have evaluated many and even tried a few on for size. One portion of this experiment took over 20 years as I interacted one on one with a representative from the Carpenter's Union. Three children later, I finally figured it out. I was left alone without so much as a cordless drill while he was out remodeling every other house in town. Sometimes "good looking" isn't enough...there must some other compelling qualities that add to the appeal.

An Honorable Mention goes out to the UPS drivers I have known and loved. Collectively they are really a fine looking group of men. Kudos to their recruiting department. In the spring and summer when they wear their shorts, what a delight it is to receive a "package" from these fine fellows. I have yet to meet an unattractive UPS delivery man. Even the women who drive for UPS, many of them overtly gay, are worth a second look.

But the best looking, hottest career group I have encountered in these many years of back breaking research are Firemen. Hands down. Slap my ass and douse me with gasoline, I'd take a fireman any day.

First of all, they don't carry guns. All a fireman needs is his hose, if you get my drift. Of course, for those of you who like a man in uniform the fireman fits the bill. When there's a fire they wear those cute rubber boots, suspenders, yellow reflective jackets and those BIG hats! Couldn't you just die?!

Secondly, firemen are friendly and more approachable than most career groups. Anyone can visit the local firehouse! You can watch them wash their fast red vehicles and check their hoses. Most will even give you a tour of the facility. Ask if you can slide down their pole. They always love that!

Thirdly, firemen can cook! What a bonus! In my part of the world when I see a fire truck outside my Kroger it doesn't mean the cereal aisle is aflame--I park my car very quickly and head straight for the produce section where I know I will find a small group of firemen! What luck!

They are so cute in the store---they come in pairs and small groups like women going to powder their noses. Being that I have an interest both in fireman AND public safety, I immediately find them and offer my services in menu planning, produce selection and after dinner entertainment.

Now hopefully we are all in agreement about the dashing, daunting and perilous career of fire fighting....these guys are the hottest in more ways than one! How does one get to meet a fireman? Good question.

If you are the shy type and not at all comfortable visiting your fire station or assisting them at the grocery store, the best thing to do is to by a scanner and start showing up at fires. Some of you might say that is a bit too obvious. Perhaps you might arrange to have a small grease fire in your kitchen or a brush fire in your back yard.

Have an elderly parent or relative nearby? Go to their house and place a 911 call complaining that you smell smoke. This is an ingenious move on your part because it will bring firemen to you without there being an actual emergency. This allows you to have a good look at the whole group. You could have the pick of the litter! Once you have found the fireman of your dreams, why not ask him to come over and review your household fire safety plans and evacuation route?

You'll be pleased to know that no federal funds were used for this study. However, several kitchen appliances, mattresses and my grandmother's nursing home were destroyed in experimental fires to bring you the most accurate results.

Back to Future Endeavours, Volume 15, Issue 2

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