Some years ago, when I was first connected to the internet, I found out that to sign up for emails, web sites, newsletters, or Yahoo, that one needed a log-in name. Innocent and naive as always, I approached my family and friends with the question, "What are they talking about? " Patient as usual with my childlike approach to the world, they told me that I needed a "pretend" name. Something that would give people a sense of who I was without divulging my identity. They explained that there were some weirdo's out there (out where?) and it wasn't safe to give out personal information. Like my name, for heaven's sake? Yep.
I had no idea what to do. I tried all sorts of strange appellations. Moonwoman. That was a bit like me, but not quite. Hatchepsut. Very Egyptian and sounds nice but I didn't think the Female Pharaoh would approve of my taking her name away from her. Lady of the Willow. Very elegant, but again, no.
Then I remembered my favourite book of all time, The Lord of the Rings. I wore out two paperback versions and now have a beautiful hardbound copy from The Folio Society. I first read it when I was twelve, a long time before the current popularity. I read it aloud to my children as they were growing up and it is now one of their favourites as well. As a matter of fact, we are probably the only family that still looks for the entwives on our walks.
One of the most beautiful sections of the book is the time the Hobbits spent with Galadriel. In this magical forest grew a tree. The Mallorn was a very special tree; the leaves were golden and it grew straight and tall and protected the Elves. All through the long winter this tree kept those beautiful golden leaves. It did not shed them until the spring when the new leaves burst forth, showering the forest with gold. Mallorn. That's who I wanted to be. Someone growing straight and tall, protecting those around me, keeping myself golden until new life burst forth and then carpeting my surroundings with beauty and light. And so it was.
I'm still know as Mallorn, or Mal, in some places. It still feels like who I'm striving to become. It couldn't last, of course. I couldn't stay Mallorn forever. The Goddess came calling ...and calling and calling. I can be quite thick-headed at times. Hathor was and still is my matron deity and I continue to say morning prayers to her. She is my Mother, my source. A strange thing was happening though. It didn't matter what book I picked up, what web site I went to...there she was. Sesheta, Seshat, Seshet. Mistress of the Library, keeper of secrets, Goddess of writers, namer of names, stretcher of the cord for the Pharaoh and Divine architect to the land of Egypt and all the Gods. She came looking for me and I finally heard, I finally saw her in all her beauty.
I am now the daughter of Hathor and a devotee of Sesheta. In my dedication ceremony I was honoured to add her name to mine. Sesheta-mallorn, The Secret-Keeper of the Golden Tree.
Things being as they are, I began to shorten my name to msesheta (Sesheta-m just didn't have the right sound).
I love having so many names. Mom, Honey, Shelley, New Grandma, Mallorn, Mal, Sesheta-mallorn, msesheta. I can be whoever I feel like being, whenever I feel like being her. Isn't life grand?
My website is a Tarot/Occult Directory, please feel free to add your link here at Open Tarot. My next projects are Tarot Nexus and Tarot Bits
These are the links for my web designer son (Jay Goodfellow):
Some "what and whys" of the Elements © Julian Kenwick 2003
9 of Pentacles: The Snail © Sesheta-mallorn 2004
September 21 1953 5:00 pm EDT
Virgo Sun, Aquarius Ascendant, Pisces Moon
This page was created September 18, 2003 and updated May 29, 2004.